I'm re-reading these posts and I'm going, Wow! I was depressed over the last winter. There is some truth in some of these posts. About the only thing I've done over the last year is get rid of stuff.

I still think of going to school, but for what and where. The hard part is I still need to work. Work. My job pays well for someone who doesn't have a college degree. I guess I'm stuck at this job for a while. If I quit before I'm vested in the pension, I'm just throwing money away. I have 5 more years for that. I should just use the next five years to go to school and prepare for a career change in 5 years.

Moving. I still want to move, but maybe not out of state. But, that idea insn't dead yet. I need a job out there first.

Power

I wish I had the power to make problems go away, to cure sickness, to make people happy.

Moving.

I feel that I will be moving this year. Where, I don't know yet. Closer to work, out of state, I don't know.  I just made up my mind that I am moving SOMEWHERE, so I feel compeled to get rid of stuff.

Ebay

Why did I buy so much crap off of ebay in the last two years? I bought model train car kits I'll never assemble. I don't even have a layout set up. I bought so many antique phones and intercoms I have to get rid of some. I've been slowly getting rid off stuff. Projects I'll never finish, pure junk, etc. I just want it gone, NOW! So far, most of the stuff I've gotten rid of was stuff stored in the basement. 99% of the stuff I've gotten rid of also was stuff I've acquired in the past two years or so.

Profile Pic

My profile pic is of a tv in my collection. It is a Motorola Vt-71 from 1949. The picture tube is a whopping 7 inches. The tv does work, although it gives me fits sometimes. I have about 8 antique tvs and 4 are working.

My 'Hood is Depressing

My hometown is depressing. I don't know if it really is, or if its because its still winter and I'm cooped up in the house. I do know one thing, my neighborhood has gone downhill since I moved in. I don't want to be here next winter, even though I really love my vintage apartment.

Projects going on downtown. Will they bring people here? Only time will tell. I don't care anymore. I work an hour from here. If I stay at my curent job I do have to move closer. I can't handle the commute anymore.

Whatever.

I really want to take a year leave from work. Put my stuff in storage, and go live with my Mom for a while. Go explore someplace different. Maybe even learn some new job skills. Maybe I won't even want to come back. Maybe I'll find love. Who knows.  All I know I want to take a month off ASAP to spend down there to check on a couple things before I make a final decision.  I have my sisters wedding in June, so I have to come back anyway. After June, however, everything is open. And that is when I need to make my decision. If I don't move at this time, I need to go to school up here, then once school is over, if I still want to move, then thats what I'll do.

I have a hard time making up my mind. I think I am just scared to do something different. I keep talking about it. Its like the St Louis thing all over again. I kept talking about working in my friends piano restoration shop. I talked about it for YEARS, but in the end I did nothing.

I don't want to be away from family, yet we hardly spend time together. THe only family I really spend time with is my sister, dad, and a couple cousins.

Tony. it's time to live a little. You know you want to, you're just a fraidy-cat. Sometimes you just need to leave the comfort zone.

Sad History.

My friend helps set up estate sales. He always brings home stuff fished out of the trash from these sales. It makes me sad when there is family, but they don't want personal  items like pictures. 20 years ago i picked up pictures of 4 generations of a early family that has settled in McHenry County. The people that held the estate sale were distant relations of the family, yet, they still sold the pictures in their antique store. All the pictures are labeled. You know who they are. I should donate to the historical society.

The items from the sale going on now are from a prominent family from my city. The widows husband was a doctor, and 2 of the sons became doctors. Sad.

Alone

I hate being alone. I live in a two flat. I live upstairs and my cousin and his partner live downstairs. They keep talking about buying a house. They have their eye on a certain house that may go on the market soon. I don't want to live in this two-flat by myself, or have to endure people downstairs I don't like for whatever reason. Where Am I going to go? The place I live in general is pretty sucky. I live an hour from work, and I wouldn't want to live there either.

Again

I started writing  a blog before. I figured why not. Then, I just frustrated with the whole thing and took it down. So, I guess I'll try again.